Fortune - 8h

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 1d

I don't like to walk, and I don't like to paddle. -James Watt
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 2d

Becoming an overnight success usually takes years.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 8d

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on. Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly: "You can not fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong." Knight turned the machine off and on. The machine worked.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 14d

Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much. -- Will Rogers
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 28d

Once upon a time, when I was training to be a mathematician, a group of us bright young students taking number theory discovered the names of the smaller prime numbers. 2: The Odd Prime -- It's the only even prime, therefore is odd. QED. 3: The True Prime -- Lewis Carroll: "If I tell you three times, it's true." 31: The Arbitrary Prime -- Determined by unanimous unvote. We needed an arbitrary prime in case the prof asked for one, and so had an election. 91 received the most votes (well, it *looks* prime) and 3+4i the next most. However, 31 was the only candidate to receive none at all. Since the composite numbers are formed from primes, their qualities are derived from those primes. So, for instance, the number 6 is "odd but true", while the powers of 2 are all extremely odd numbers.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 12 Jul 19

Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 12 Jul 19

Hug O' War I will not play at tug o' war. I'd rather play at hug o' war, Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles And rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, And everyone grins, And everyone cuddles, And everyone wins. -- Shel Silverstein
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 03 Jul 19

This algorithm is prevented in the style of Dijkstra's guarded cowhands.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 02 Jul 19

Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 02 Jul 19

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with. -- Tennessee Williams
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 02 Jun 19

Now and then an innocent person is sent to the legislature.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 15 May 19

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 15 May 19

Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 15 May 19

Little things come in small packages.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 09 May 19

Truth is the ultimate weapon; fortunately no one has perfected it yet. - Ken Ellis
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 03 May 19

Avoid a hasty decision.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 30 Apr 19

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #32: Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are right now? A: I will be three months November 8th. Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: What were you and your husband doing at that time?
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 24 Apr 19

Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 19 Apr 19

Ah, but the choice of dreams to live, there's the rub. For all dreams are not equal, some exit to nightmare most end with the dreamer But at least one must be lived ... and died.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 07 Apr 19

Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont. -- Clarence Darrow
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 02 Apr 19

Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too. -- D. J. Hicks
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 30 Mar 19

AMAZING BUT TRUE ... If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 28 Mar 19

The Government urges you to remain calm.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 27 Mar 19

If butterflies had teeth like tigers they would never make it out of the hangar.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 25 Mar 19

The day-to-day travails of the IBM programmer are so amusing to most of us who are fortunate enough never to have been one -- like watching Charlie Chaplin trying to cook a shoe.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 25 Mar 19

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. -- Elvis Presley
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 23 Mar 19

Telephone, n.: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. -- Ambrose Bierce
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 21 Mar 19

Are you sure you want a two dimensional array?
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  • 

Fortune - 19 Mar 19

You will feel hungry again in another hour.
#fortune

Comment  •  Permalink  •