Simpsons - 4d

Homer Simpson:
Don't worry. I'm sure if something happened to your mother, they would have told us.

Pimple-faced Teen:
Telegram!

Homer Simpson:
D'oh! [reads telegram] "Marge Simpson is now MIA"? Oh, no! She changed her name to Mia!

Pimple-faced Teen:
No, that means she's missing in action. [Homer cries]

Lisa Simpson:
See? Everytime we get a tree, something bad happens. [runs away]

Homer Simpson:
I wish it were me instead of her!

Pimple-faced Teen:
There's still time. The recruitment office is right...

Homer Simpson:
Shut up.


#simpsons

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Simpsons - 6d

Lisa Simpson:
All we have to do is dig up the time capsule!

Turanga Leela:
And bury Bart in the hole!

Marge Simpson:
I thought people in the future would be more full of peace and love. Like in Epcot Center.

Turanga Leela:
In our time, Epcot Center is a work farm for the weak.

Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth:
Oh, but it's not as crowded as the slave-labor camps at Universal Studios.

Marge Simpson:
Hmmm...


#simpsons

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Simpsons - 8d

Kent Brockman:
Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?

Homer Simpson:
Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that.

Kent Brockman:
I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?

Homer Simpson:
Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.

Kent Brockman:
[pause] Well, touch?.


#simpsons

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Simpsons - 9d

Marge Simpson:
Well, it certainly was nice of you to accept Bart in the middle of a semester.

The Commandant:
Fortunately, we've had a couple of recent freak-outs, so that freed up a couple of bunks.

Bart Simpson:
"Freak-outs?"


#simpsons

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Simpsons - 10d

Mr. Burns:
Yes, feel the weightless tickle of justice!


#simpsons

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Simpsons - 12d

Anchorman:
Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers!

Homer:
HEY! That's a half-truth!


#simpsons

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Showerthoughts - 20d

A boomerang warehouse hit with a tornado wouldn't lose any boomerangs. ―Jony_Write, May 2015
#showerthoughts

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Ryuichi - 25d

Japanese anime studio Khara moving to the 3D Modeling Free Software "Blender"

https://www.blender.org/user-stories/japanese-anime-studio-khara-moving-to-blender/
Japanese anime studio Khara moving to Blender — blender.org
”We finally got a 3D creation tool like paper and pencil.” The reason why Khara, Inc. started moving to Blender.

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Fortune - 26d

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
#fortune

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Showerthoughts - 26d

Belt loops are like belts for your belt. ―TheDankyDank, Oct 2016
#showerthoughts

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Simpsons - 26d

Bart Simpson:
I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.


#simpsons

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Fortune - 28d

I don't like to walk, and I don't like to paddle. -James Watt
#fortune

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Showerthoughts - 28d

No other generation will know the horror of cleaning a mouse ball roller. ―sawser, Jul 2016
#showerthoughts

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Simpsons - 28d

Lisa Simpson:
Sure, life is full of pain and misery, but the trick is to enjoy the few good things in the moment.

Homer Simpson:
Yeah, stupid. Stop thinking about having fun and have it.


#simpsons

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Fortune - 29d

Becoming an overnight success usually takes years.
#fortune

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Showerthoughts - 29d

Casinos should play monopoly with actual money ―Billobatch, Dec 2015
#showerthoughts

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Simpsons - 29d

Homer Simpson:
This place is nothing like Animal House. I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages... successfully!


#simpsons

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Fortune - 11 Aug 19

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on. Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly: "You can not fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong." Knight turned the machine off and on. The machine worked.
#fortune

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Ryuichi - 11 Aug 19

I can't believe that there are still people (or bots) trying to break into the site i mean, almost one year and i only have 1328 hits, why is this site so important to you??

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